Custody and Other Parental Issues


DO find ways to support your children in a legal family process. Try to see things from their prospective and make them feel as secure as possible.

DO be calm and respectful to your ex-spouse in front of your children.

DO make your children feel comfortable, secure and at home in your living space if you are the parent who moves into separate quarters. Also take steps to make them feel comfortable when they are in the home of your spouse.

DO make sure your children know they are not the reason for the divorce or separation or whatever legal family disagreement you are having.


DON’T put your children in the middle of your legal situation or use them as bargaining tools or push them to pick sides.

DON’T attempt to send messages to your ex-spouse via your children. Communicate directly with your ex and leave your children out of the conflict.

DON’T attempt to get information about your ex-spouse’s activities from your children.

DON’T discuss the case with your children. They are unlikely to be mature enough to grasp the legal matters involved. You will only create anxiety and insecurity for them. Further, chances are good your behavior will find its way into a courtroom where it will be held against you.

DON’T interact with your children in any way if you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

DON’T bring new love interests into your home to spend the night when your children are present. Generally, it is a good idea to keep your children and your love life separate until your case is settled.